Zolota

I lost my ring With my virginity That day in St. Paul's It slipped like you Easily into the bowels Of the organ The stone rolled away In the church that day As, like Blake, songs changed From innocence to experience I didn't mind at the time Embraced my loss I bled for a week Blood shed for you You'd have licked my wounds But for my damned naivety Too light for the dark A rabbit caught I long for my ring My childhood trinket Crying in the darkness Under the swelling refrain I won't play the organ Ever again

Take my hand Run with me We'll laugh, we'll love Forever free Mountain paths little streams rugged landscapes live the dream Our oyster world Providing all Open our hearts Hear its call Dreams of happiness So far away What can we do now To make them stay? Little dreams A joyful heart Trust, hope and work We've made our start

White hot pain Sears my inside Each wound a deep scar Agonised sobs Wrack my body My stomach a pit of deadly snakes Tear out my soul Each breath a scream WHY? But new horizons await Just not for me

Autumn drizzles into my soul Foretelling winter's barrenness Late Spring brought hope; brought life A glorious summer, transformed Sickness sweeps over me as once again Emptiness is bourne Alone Silent fists beat a silent womb You are no longer mine But were you ever? On a swing, down at the park We dreamt of our future – Stolen I went to the mall today Cried at the shops we'd visited together Do you miss me? With each beat of my heart Separation runs through me Unfamiliar, familiar All echoes of you Block it, drown it, transfer the pain Severed cord; isolation again The leaves turn their silver to me Heralding the ete

Permeance "The reciprocal of the reluctance of a magnetic circuit" The act of permeating Permeate me  Permeates Holy/wholly/holey Lord.  Power and might You might/mite Attitude/platitude plat du jour The day on a plate Whose dish? Whose day? Sparkling mundane Perrier water It's all in the mind They said. They say a lot of things Them who are all in my mind. Joy surges through the soul Bursting Smashing ribs In its haste to leave  Emptiness Waste/waist The hunger deepens Uncontrollable  Ha nothing a whip won't control Walnut whip Deckchair stripes Nuts

Your body against mine Icy hands on warm flesh Hardening nipples, coat hiding movement Bus shelter love You kiss me Scrambling over boulders You grab my hand and we Race towards the sea Tumbling onto the warm sand You kiss me Excitement of the fair Still reeling from rides Pausing mid throw for coconuts Mouth sticky with candyfloss You kiss me Armed with blanket Picnic hamper, fishing rods Stumbling down the grassy bank Catch my hand, pull me into you and kiss me Home and warm Beside the fire We watch the flickering Feeling the flame inside You kiss me In bed at night I uncurl my legs You bite my thighs I smile a

I smiled as the still water closed gently over my head.  The idea of being engulfed was so beautiful, so appealing.  The water giving no clue about what lay beneath its murky depths.  But of course reality – the body wants to survive – overrides the mind; a vicious struggle it tends to win on these occasions. Survival takes over, tries to free itself, fights its way upwards towards the surface.  I struggle to stay down.  Running out of breath, my body pulses; swim down, swim down; swim across, across.  The body fights my mind – a desperate attempt to resurface.  I roll and wrestle with myself, my head shaking and turning upwards despite all

Took my tongue from my cheek to scrape a few cells Magnified and placed them under glass Displayed.  I smiled. "But that's not you" they said. "We want you" Threw away the dictionary Tore out my heart Dissected my mind; ripped the wings from my soul Lovingly arranged them Glued them in place Exposed my innards, ignoring the pain A child's offering Held up for inspection "Yeah – that's good," they said.

She had been sat in the hotel lobby for some minutes now and had already built a picture of the previous occupant of her chair. The scent of smoke and Chanel hung in the air intrusively. She looked distastefully at the empty glasses – why couldn't the staff be more effective? Lipstick gave each glass a bloody kiss. She curled her lip and looked away. Fun, frivolous laughter and empty chatter filled her imagination. She had no drink, no fun, no life. She glanced at her watch, smoothed her skirt, re-crossed her legs and removed an imaginary piece of lint from her jacket before once more her eyes slid to the table. Ash had been flicked careless